My operator left super early this morning and I was so sad. Her kid had a doctor’s appointment after getting hurt and honestly family first. But I love my operator, and we stayed up late fangirling over our favorite booths and their marketing materials. She lives far and it’s so much easier to work when she’s around. Have you ever tried to whiteboard virtually? It doesn’t feel the same.

In the morning my other friend had a meeting at [REDACTED] so I went with him. Most of the people in this lobby were in meetings except this one guy clearly waiting for a meeting because why else would you be in here. This entire place feels so different. A lot more polished. No one is buying me a beer here, it’s going to be a fancy cocktail, like something with whiskey that costs more than my laptop.

My friend went to check on his meeting and I sat in the lobby thinking about how when you’re confident no one thinks twice. I guess especially here, when software engineers are pitching in t-shirts with their logo on it and sneakers, but even in this place, everyone was pretty suited up.

I’m trying to be more brave about things, especially in a social environment that I’m not used to. In the real estate world I’m a lot better but here I’m still worried about people not wanting to hear what I have to say, even though I think it’s really important. I really have to get over that by the way, because so far most everyone is in agreement, and the one time someone pointed out something in a different vertical that could be relevant it forced me to reflect and refine my thesis. He seemed apologetic about it but honestly I really need that kind of feedback and I get so little about it that I always feel like I’m missing something.

Anyway, I figured I’d give this guy a dollar shirt and just see what happens. Luckily he was also INTIMIDATINGLY HOT with impeccable taste. By contrast I was in flowery doc martens, a flower dress, a giraffe messenger bag, and eyes that hadn’t had a proper sleep in maybe ever. I wondered if I could get away with actually throwing it at him and running away but I kind of want to come back here and I didn’t think that would go over well.

I walked up to him and put the dollar down by his coffee and he seemed confused. I never think anyone wants to talk to me so honestly I thought it was just going to be a “cool thanks” and I was going to dip. We started chatting and I sat down in the chair in front of him. It was way too close to him and the chair was unexpectedly soft. Wtf it was like sinking into a cloud. This guy was already super tall even sitting down, and I am super short, so while I was sinking several inches and pondering all my life choices we had a chat about what I did when a waiter came by to talk to him. Mr. Hot Suit apologized and said I had to leave otherwise he was going to get charged but he looked at his dollar as I was leaving and said the other side makes it look like a turtle. I feel that. Sitting here probably already costs a small mortgage. We connected on LinkedIn. Turns out he’s a VP at [REDACTED]. Of course.

My friend didn’t come back out and I was still lowkey freaking out so instead of waiting I just told myself “MAYBE I’LL JUST LEAVE RIGHT NOW” and dipped. He can text me if he wants to later on, and honestly it’s a giant conference, all of us are meeting up and leaving abruptly anyway.

Since I work with Early Stage Startups and the Early Stage Expo was closed to me and Barbara yesterday, I went over to check it out. At BSides I didn’t go to any of the talks because I literally tried to hit up every single vendor in one day. I think I hit almost all of them so I figured, I can do the same at RSAC. I got through maybe 3 before I left for a different event at Okta with Cyversity. The speakers were amazing and I made some good connections even though I sat in the back and tried to hide lol. I was really tired, also the lady next to me was asking about my lunch choice and I said it was just ok. She said, “Yeah that doesn’t really look like bbq chicken.” She said her five spice chicken was bomb though. It looked good.

I still had to hit up the rest of the vendors at the Early Stage Expo and my friend was in the same thing so we hit up a ton of vendors together. It was good, I took a lot of notes and got a tiny lego car for my kid. There was another networking event for Cyversity in the afternoon so I went to that. It was mostly minorities and those events feel so different. I love it really, I think I’m more used to that kind of energy. I’m reminded of how important it is to have rooms like this and I wonder how many brilliant ideas die because there aren’t enough spaces like this. I love Cyversity a lot though so I’m biased AF. I’m also right.

I cold DMed the founder of Cyversity a few months back. I was asking him about religion and purpose. He actually inadvertently (or maybe vertently) validated my thesis during that meeting and I thought it was really cool that he was trying to understand what I was doing and how he could advise me even though I had contacted him about something else. Anyway when I saw him he said, “You came!” and then introduced me to the people he was speaking with and how I had contacted him a few months ago. I showed him my research and he told me to tag him in it when it was done. Honestly, I feel very lucky to have met him and I can see why people like him so much.

My friend from the Early Stage Expo and I went to some other event kind of far. I was too lazy to walk but at one of the Early Stage booths had tokens for free pedicab rides so we were like LOL let’s do it! Barbara and I were cracking up the day before because “who does that touristy shit” and here I am about to take a pedicab to a speakeasy. The conference was closing for the day so most everything was gone, but we managed to find one lonely pedicab. We gave the guy the token but it was for a different booth. He said he was getting paid by the company anyway so we could ride and some people give tips though if we wanted. He looked up where we were going and halfway through I felt bad because it seemed like he was struggling to take our fat asses up this low grade hill into who knows where. As I was paying him his hat flew off and into the street and he ran to get it while I venmo’d him and I just thought, I hope this guy is going home now.

This speakeasy was PACKED AF. There were two lines and I was getting a drink for my friend and he got the same so we ended up with 4 drinks. While I was in front some guys wanted to know if I wanted a shot and shit, why not. Smirnoff though oh nose. I ended up splitting it with my friend. When I went to the bathroom someone said, “Oh yay! Another girl!” Yooooo! I feel that! They were at the front of the bar too so they were like “What would you like?” and I somehow ended up with another cocktail. At some point we all ended up upstairs and I was like, “Wait a second, did you do chorale at Cal?” WTF yes she did! Life is crazy.

Eventually we got booted out and my friend went home but I ended up at a different hotel, and I couldn’t even tell you what the name of it was and I met this other guy in the lobby to go to a different event but we had just missed it but one of my other friends was there. I think the other guy still wanted to party but damn dude it was like midnight and I still have to go to work tomorrow.

Stickers procured: Infinite
Lunch choice regretted: 1
Heros met: 1
Times I questioned all my life choices while sinking into a cloud in front of a hot VP in a place where a drink costs more than my laptop: 1