Blast From the Past – Building in My 40s

Once upon a time there were two sisters. They didn’t grow up together. One day they started building something and then the older one broke the younger one’s heart when she discovered her sister had been breaking it the entire time.

My first business partner, the one from my February series on relationships, was my oldest sister. It’s been years since we had contact. I’ll spare you the details of our messy breakup, but it was very bad. It was one of those things where something happens and your life is never the same again. A lot of it affected my father too because she had been managing his businesses.

It’s weird. I’m studying cofounder dynamics which is part of why I wrote that piece and all of a sudden here she is, two days later, texting me. I haven’t heard from her in years, even though I’m still dealing with the massive fallout, even now. Her text set off a chain reaction of events that I had to deal with for about half the day. I only swore 25% the amount I should have, given the situation — everyone I spoke with though was absolutely amazing and helpful which made the entire process pretty smooth. I also had a couple good friends who let me vent. Not all heroes wear capes lol.

I look at our business dealings like a tiny startup that she set on fire then dipped but damn if I didn’t learn a fuck ton. You wanna get a crash course in how to build a startup? Have your cofounder blindside you and then leave you holding the bag but make the stakes your dad’s stability (results may vary). I was playing on extra hard mode so I was raising a toddler at the same time. It was like a crazy version of SAW only the guy on the loudspeaker is saying, “How much do you love your Dad? Win, a lifetime of responsibility, lose, and your father will be homeless. WA-HA-HA You have 0 days.” Because I found out after the damage was already done (ha ha zero days, I’ll see myself out).

The worst part was in the middle of clearing all this up my dad started going through dementia. I’m pretty sure the stress sped the whole thing up but a lot of our conversations were like this:

Him: Did you know she was doing this?
Me: No I just found out
Him: Why didn’t you tell me?
Me: I didn’t know before
five minutes later
Him: Did you know she was doing this?

Back then I used to think how lucky I was that I didn’t go through whatever it was that she went through to make her like that or maybe nothing happened to her and she’s just [This space intentionally left blank] and I’m still not like that. I still think that, only this time when I was thinking that I also thought how for like five minutes I had a sister and that was fun sometimes. I don’t know about you guys but my childhood was broken AF so once in a while I would shout FAMILY DAY and we’d meet up with my other sisters or at my niece’s swim meet or we’d all get pizza and ice cream and my dad was always around. Boom instant family. One day one of my other sisters got us zoo passes and my nieces cut class so they could join us. It only lasted a couple years and maybe 7 events all told but like I said, it was fun while it lasted.

Anyway I guess this is a weird founder update but honestly sometimes a founder’s day is like this.

Decks finished: 1
Articles submitted: 1
Research: Ongoing
Times I said [expletive]: fuck if I know
Times I remembered when we used to shout “I LAB YOU!” to each other: 2 (earlier today and this time writing it)

Times I remembered when I first went to her house and I was 12 and her and her husband took me to Japanese food which we never got because it was expensive and you and your husband had your own special chopsticks in a box behind the counter and then we went to your house and you had this modeling picture of yourself on the wall and I thought you were so beautiful and maybe you didn’t love me then and maybe you don’t love me now but once upon a time the two of us giggled on the phone but now we are here and I know the pronouns in this sentence changed but maybe its because I want to ask you if you remember any of this and then I remember that I don’t have a sister anymore: 1